Sea Blue Green

Love this song

2010-10-05T06:17:00.013-06:00

This was on the radio as I was waking up this morning. I love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERfK6G_7SvY

The Trouble With Poets by Peter Mulvey

The trouble with poets is they talk too much
They tell us it hurts them a little more
And we cannot tell if they make this up
We've never stood in their shoes, in their skins, in their heads, on their shores

The trouble with you is you drive me nuts
I cannot tell what's behind your smile
What can we find just to lift us up
Just for tonight, for a time, for the sake of us all, for awhile

I know it's only trouble
I know it makes us real
I wish that peace of mind was something I could steal

The trouble with shoes is they come untied
You might take a fall down the stairs
And a poet might come along and say, "Ain't that just like life"
I think the trouble with poets is they see poetry everywhere

I know it's only trouble
Here I am at the bottom of the stairs
Begging you, poet, please, for a few small repairs

The trouble with time is it don't go back
Or maybe that trouble is with you and me
We are so scared of that fade to black
That we'll push and we'll pull and we'll do anything to be free

Oh lord, I push, I struggle
I know it's just the deal
I know it's only trouble
Oh, I know it is what makes us real
But I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Not even poets know
How they feel

Trouble with poets is they talk too much

Incredibly Easy Stuffed Chicken Breasts

2010-02-12T20:00:00.004-07:00

Yes, it's true. Chickens are easy. I still feel a moment of guilt, though, during preparation, for consuming such a commercially abused animal. No such difficulties in eating it, though.

These breasts are stuffed with pesto, butter and cheese. If you can find a vendor of fresh pesto, all the better. We have one at the local farmer's market ($6 for a little one-cup container, but it's good stuff). I chose one that was a mix with cranberries. Also comes with other flavours, like oregano, artichoke, roasted red pepper, and lemon grass.

5 boneless chicken breasts
2 pads butter
1/2 cup pesto
1 cup cheese
1 cup or more of pasta sauce

Melt 2 pads of butter in a pot on medium heat, and stir in pesto. Let cool, and add shredded cheese (I used cheddar, very nice). Slice chicken breasts part-way through and stuff each with a portion of the mix, then press them closed. Coat pan bottom with pasta sauce. Place chicken breasts in and coat with another layer of pasta sauce. Into the oven at 350 for 30 minutes.

I'm sure a more experienced cook would put a layer of parmesan a'top, or something. Myself, I was too hungry.

There Ain't No Cure for Love

2009-05-22T23:36:00.002-06:00

The Origin of Love

2008-12-23T22:16:00.002-07:00

by Rufus Wainwright

Life is Unbelievable

2008-10-23T22:11:00.003-06:00

by John Southworth.

I like this.

I like this guy. He's a trickster.

I like how he puts himself in the picture.

Closing Time

2008-06-09T18:03:00.014-06:00

Ah, we're drinking and we're dancing
and the band is really happening
and the (Hiram) Walker wisdom running high.
And my very sweet companion,
she's the Angel of Compassion,
she's rubbing half the world against her thigh.
And every drinker, every dancer
lifts a happy face to thank her;
the fiddler fiddles something so sublime.
All the women tear their blouses off
the men they dance on the polka-dots,
and it's partner found and partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops:
it's closing time.

Ah, we're lonely, we're romantic
and the cider's laced with acid
and the Holy Spirit's crying, 'Where's the beef?'
And the moon is swimming naked
and the summer night is fragrant
with a mighty expectation of relief.
So we struggle and we stagger
down the snakes and up the ladder
to the tower where the blessed hours chime;
and I swear it happened just like this
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss,
the Gates of Love they budged an inch,
I can't say much has happened since
but closing time.

I loved you for your beauty
but that doesn't make a fool of me:
you were in it for your beauty too.
I loved you for your body
there's a voice that sounds like G-d to me
declaring that your body's really you.

I loved you when our love was blessed
and I love you now there's nothing left
but sorrow and a sense of overtime.
And I missed you since the place got wrecked
and I just don't care what happens next,
it looks like freedom but it feels like death,
it's something in between, I guess:
it's closing time.
And I missed you since the place got wrecked
by the winds of change and the weeds of sex,
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess:
it's closing time.

We're drinking and we're dancing
but there's nothing really happening.
The place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night.
And my very close companion
gets me fumbling, gets me laughing
she's a hundred but she's wearing something tight.
I lift my glass to the Awful Truth
which you can't reveal to the Ears of Youth
except to say it isn't worth a dime;
and the whole dam place goes crazy twice
and it's once for the Devil and it's once for Christ
but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights;
we're busted in the blinding lights
of closing time.

~Leonard Cohen

Anthem

2008-06-09T17:53:00.009-06:00

I used to believe that there was a reason for every thing. I still do.

The birds they sang
at the break of day.
Start again,
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.

The wars they will
be fought again.
The holy dove,
she will be caught again;
bought and sold
and bought again:
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed,
the marriage spent,
the widowhood
of every government--
signs for all to see.

I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned,
they've summoned up a thundercloud--
they're going to hear from me

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum.
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum.
Every heart,
every heart to love will come
but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.

~Leonard Cohen

Kathy's Song

2008-06-09T17:51:00.004-06:00

by Paul Simon

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.

Re Free Will

2008-01-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

In reply to an Internet forum post:

Re free will, it is only an illusion when you realise the illusion --that is, you make the illusion real through recognition (reconstructing) of what you thought was one thing as another thing. What stands in contrast to that is participation in the "illusion," wherein it cannot be considered an illusion. That's where free will is real.

I like the analogy of the crescent moon. It hangs in the sky as a crescent --a real crescent --so long as we participate in the illusion that light and dark have presented of what we could, if we give it some thought, see as a partly-lit sphere.

The same thing happens with those pictures of the old/young woman. While you see one --that is, while you participate wholely in one image --the other is suppressed.

Reality to us is a series of images.

Blair Godzilla

2008-01-15T02:24:00.000-07:00

Haha. "Cloverfield" is being called The Blair Godzilla Project.

Love Itself, Leonard Cohen

2007-12-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

The light came through the window,
straight from the sun above,
and so inside my little room
there plunged the rays of Love.

In streams of light I clearly saw
the dust you seldom see,
out of which The Nameless makes
a name for one like me.

I'll try to say a little more:
Love went on and on
until it reached an open door -
then Love Itself...
Love Itself was gone.

All busy in the sunlight
the flecks did float and dance,
and I was tumbled up with them
in formless circumstance.

I'll try to say a little more:
Love went on and on
until it reached an open door -
then Love Itself
Love Itself was gone.

Then I came back from where I'd been.
My room, it looked the same -
but there was nothing left between
The Nameless and the name.

All busy in the sunlight
the flecks did float and dance,
and I was tumbled up with them
in formless circumstance.

I'll try to say a little more:
Love went on and on
until it reached an open door -
then Love Itself,
Love Itself was gone.

Love Itself was gone.

Nicolae

Here It Is

2007-12-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

I don't think these vids are put together by anyone associated with Leonard Cohen, and they seem to do little more than reflect the rhythm of his songs. But at least they present the songs.

This is currently one of my favourites of his songs.

A Thousand Kisses Deep

2007-12-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

I like this, for now. The graphics are clever, to represent peeling back layers of reality, revealing levels of meaning.

Coconut Candied Salmon

2007-12-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Candied salmon is usually smoked, but that's far too much work. This candied salmon is made with a large fresh fillet of salmon, maple syrup and about one cup of chopped coconut.

Brush the salmon with maple syrup and put it in the fridge for about an hour to marinate. Cut it into 1 inch strips and apply another coat of syrup, and then coat with coconut and place on an oiled cookie sheet. Dribble remaining syrup over the strips. Cook at 400° for 12-14 minutes until coconut is lightly browned.

That Don't Make It Junk, Leonard Cohen

2007-12-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

I used to think that in his art the poet used things of the world to analogize the human condition. Now I realise that in doing so the artist also uses the human condition to analogize the world.

I fought against the bottle,
but I had to do it drunk.
Took my diamond to the pawnshop,
but that don’t make it junk.

I know that I’m forgiven,
but I don’t know how I know.
I don’t trust my inner feelings –
inner feelings come and go.

How come you called me here tonight?
How come you bother with my heart at all?
You raise me up in grace,
Then you put me in a place where I must fall.

Too late to fix another drink –
the lights are going out.
I’ll listen to the darkness sing –
I know what that’s about.

I tried to love you my way,
but I couldn’t make it hold.
So I closed the Book of Longing
and I do what I am told.

How come you called me here tonight?
How come you bother with my heart at all?
You raise me up in grace,
Then you put me in a place where I must fall.

I fought against the bottle,
but I had to do it drunk.
Took my diamond to the pawnshop,
but that don’t make it junk.

Alexandra Leaving

2007-12-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

Radiant beyond your widest measure.

Night Comes On, Leonard Cohen

2007-12-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

I went down to the place
where I knew she lay waiting
under the marble and the snow.

I said, Mother, I'm frightened,
the thunder and the lightning,
I'll never come through this alone.

She said, I'll be with you,
my shawl wrapped around you,
my hand on your head when you go.

And the night came on,
it was very calm;
I wanted the night to go on and on
but she said, Go back.
Go back to the World.

We were fighting in Egypt
when they signed this agreement
that nobody else had to die.

There was this terrible sound,
my father went down
with a terrible wound in his side.

He said, Try to go on:
take my books, take my gun.
Remember, my son, how they lied.

And the night comes on,
It's very calm
I'd like to pretend that my father was wrong
but you don't want to lie, not to the young.

We were locked in this kitchen,
I took to religion
and I wondered how long she would stay.

I needed so much
to have nothing to touch;
I've always been greedy that way.

But my son and my daughter
climbed out of the water,
crying, Papa, you promised to play!

And they lead me away to the great surprise:
It's Papa, don't peek, Papa, cover your eyes,
and they hide,
they hide in the World.

Now I look for her always,
I'm lost in this calling.
I'm tied to the threads of some prayer.

Saying, When will she summon me?
When will she come to me?
What must I do to prepare?

When she bends to my longing,
like a willow, like a fountain,
she stands in the luminous air.

And the night comes on,
It's very calm.
I lie in her arms.
She says when I'm gone
I'll be yours, yours for a song.

Now the crickets are singing,
the vesper bells ringing,
the cat's curled asleep in his chair.

I'll go down to Bill's Bar,
I can make it that far,
and I'll see if my friends are still there.

Yes, and here's to the few
who forgive what you do,
and the fewer who don't even care.

And the night comes on,
It's very calm.
I want to cross over. I want to go home,
but she says, Go back.
Go back to the World.

Hidden treasure!

2007-11-22T12:34:00.001-07:00

Found a treasure at work: a 1940 hard cover edition of "Business Letter Writing, Applied English, and Filing: For Use in Schools, Offices and as a General Reference Book" in good condition. Woo-hoo!

No, seriously. This is special. I can review my grammar skills, learn how to create good sentences, letters (both formal and social), and maybe actually get a bit of organization in my life with filing. Goodness all around.

Too, it can be a companion to a similar book I have on "How to Learn To Write in Shorthand."

Check it out:

The materials used in letter writing are:--paper, envelopes, pens, ink, type-writing machines, letter books, carbon paper, stenographer's note book, copying-presses, dupligraphs, letter files, and filing cabinets...

ENVELOPES.--Envelopes should correspond with the paper, in color, size and style. The envelope should be a trifle larger than the paper, after the letter is folded correctly. The business envelope is oblong in shape. The square envelope is used solely for social correspondence. The sizes in business envelopes most commonly used are No. 7 (3 1/2 x 6 inches), and No. 8 (3 5/8 x 6 1/2 inches). The No. 10 envelope, which measures about 4 1/8 x 9 1/2 inches, is used for official correspondence, legal documents, etc.

Now I know why they're called #10 envelopes! *nods*

What galvanises me

2007-11-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

I borrowed this meme from The Trundling Grunt, and since I don't do memes too often I also borrowed his answers.

So what galvanises me?

1) The world. Specifically, the world of things with which I interact. My stuff. If "stuff" isn't a good reason to be galvanised, I don't know what is.

2) Travel. I love to get away, find new stuff to see, taste, experience. I could technically do that at home, but there's no ocean.

3) Food. Stuff tastes good. Especially chocolate and coffee stuff (even if it is "discontinued"). I'm not addicted, though, just got to have the stuff. Everyday. Sometimes in place of a meal.

4) Reading. Well, Internet reading anyway. I have too much stuff, and most of it's books. I buy books and don't read them, just put them away on the shelf. I buy books knowing I'll never read them; just got to have stuff.

5) Music. Leonard Cohen, at the moment. Sultry at times, silly at times, sad at times ...put to a tune, always.

6) ~~Sex~~ Cats. Okay, I'm sure he meant to put "cats" in here, so I'll just make that correction. My room-mates for the last (oh God) 22 years of my life, so you can well imagine that I am finely tuned to respond to kitty needs. Yesterday my (male) cat made a babyish mew that sounded for all the world like my old departed (female) cat, and I responded. They have me well trained.

And many many more

2007-11-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

I tuned in my television to a commercial today that took me by surprise. I mean, some artists perform well into their elderly years, I get that, and I imagine most stop when their voice or lungs give out, or they otherwise feel a need to retire. But here, on the commercial, was one artist that not only I had seen included on just about every single dance and collection album ever made, but my parents had seen on every album they knew, and their parents before them, and my dad took great delight in pointing it out everytime she was included. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the infamous Many "Minnie Moore" More.

Not only does she do record albums and television performances, but this tireless and talented performer makes regular appearances at birthday parties, anniversaries and bon voyages. Even occasionally divorces (though never funerals). She's so frequently seen, and her name so frequently employed, that people have even taken to saying her first name twice, as if to emphasize the power of her presence in making any event stand above its otherwise mediocrity.

So let's raise a glass and toast a truly timeless lady who, if luck holds, will continue to appear in the future many, many, many more times (oop! there she is again!).

Tomato Cabbage Soup

2007-11-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

I made this today, and can recommend it for when you have a cold, as I do now.

1/2 onion
1 small carrot
1 1/2 tomatoes
1/4 cabbage
1/2 tbsp (1 clove) chopped garlic
3 cups stock
1 tbsp ginger powder
Salt & pepper
Cayenne
1/2 tbsp white vinegar

Chop all the veggies, and slice cabbage thin. Cook the onion until soft, about 3 minutes. Add carrot and ginger to the onions and cook another minute. Add tomatoes and garlic and cook another minute. Meanwhile bring stock to a boil in a soup pot. Put all in the soup pot, and add cabbage and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer for 15 minutes until vegetables are soft.

I also added a 1/2 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/2 cup of brown rice to the finished soup.

I'll have to try fresh ginger someday.

I want to write

2007-10-30T14:33:00.000-06:00

(I think I'll keep this Meez mask, it's rather symbolic.)

I want to write.

I want to write about love. I want to write about ocean and waves. I want to write about purple flowers on ceramic. I want to write about tall cliffs rising out of mist, and cats with fur as soft as a cloud. I want to write about stone, firm and solid and roughly textured underfoot, and watercolour rippling and shimmering, and wind buffeting my coat.

I want to write about what matters. I want to say something to the world, open its eyes to new possibilities. I want them to like what I say. I want them to know that I care, I care that they read it, and in doing so they show they care. I want to write all their feelings, thoughts and wisdom down through the ages in my own words.

I want to write about the little things. The simpler the better. The simpler the wiser. I want it to make sense. I want the world to make sense, and make sense to others. I want them to see it as I see it.

But I don't seem to have anything to say. *ponders*

I'll never know

2007-10-27T07:06:00.000-06:00

A portion of a dream; like all my dreams, just a segment in a series of stream-of-consciousness scenes.

I was at a party with people from work, a pub-type place, pool tables in the back, dim music. I walked in and nodded to a few faces I knew and said hi to Cathy, a good friend at work. After a bit one face approached me from the pool tables. He greeted me with a hello and my name, and I smiled and replied with hello, as is the habit, though I didn't really know him. He called me on it and challenged me to remember his name.

My reaction was to let my jaw drop in mock amazement. He did look vaugely familiar --short, dark, curly hair, not yet grey, but a thin face lined with age and experience --but it would have been 15 years at least since I knew him. "You're not really going to make me rememer names, are you?" The anticipated response from the crowd: grins and chuckles. Someone implored him to let me off the hook, and he said something like that I'd probably guess it anyway. After a second, I got it; I figured he meant it was so common that... "Bill Smith!"

More laughs, and he turned away and the scene changed to something else; but I still have no idea if I guessed right. I'll never know.

They say that dreams represent the subconscious replaying bits of things that have happened in waking life, and such a scene, while never actually happening this way, would be typical of my day. My memory is dreadful compared to others. I live for the moment and do not care as much for the past or the future, so much so as to forget quickly things that have happened or things I'm supposed to do.

If the dream "represents" anything that's been playing on my consciousness lately, it's that last bit: there is so much about others, and the circumstances of others, that my faculties are inadequate to determine. People are a mystery; although I was able to garner an amused response to an unexpected question, when the fellow turned away I don't know what was going on in his head. Did I guess right? Did I insult him by guessing wrong? Perhaps I wasn't intended (by the dream) to guess right (a la fate). I'll never know.

Basil and Garlic

2007-10-26T09:50:00.000-06:00

Pesto comes in so many varieties. I am currently working through a cranberry pesto that sits very well in my tummy for a time after eating it. I've also tried artichoke pesto, tomato pesto, lemon pesto, and my favourite, the double-basil pesto. The world would be a little less green without it.

I'm attending a Halloween party next Tuesday. I suspect it will go the way of all such parties: food, friends and board games. I'm bringing the pesto. It's not just for pasta, it also makes a great dip for corn chips, veggies, and bread. Heat in the microwave for a few seconds.

I'm also going to try pesto on the baked fish this weekend, though the double-basil one not the cranberry one. The cranberry might work on pork though (hmm, *makes a note*, or apple pesto!).

I bought some basil once to make my own pesto, but it kind of turned black before I got around to trying that. Didn't know it would do that. :-)

Feeling Better

2007-10-19T20:18:00.000-06:00

Now I greet you from the other side
Of sorrow and despair
With a love so vast and shattered
It will reach you everywhere

And I sing this for the Captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled
For the heart with no companion
For the soul without a King
For the prima ballerina
Who cannot dance to anything

Through the days of shame that are coming
Through the nights of wild distress
Tho' your promise count for nothing
You must keep it nonetheless

You must keep it for the Captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled
For the heart with no companion
For the soul without a King
For the prima ballerina
Who cannot dance to anything

And I greet you from the other side
Of sorrow and despair
With a love so vast and shattered
It will reach you everywhere...

Heart With No Companion, Leonard Cohen

Psari Plaki Sto Fourno (Baked Fish)

2007-10-16T12:10:00.000-06:00

Easier done than said. I made this dish last night, and am enjoying it immensely for lunch today.

1 large or 2 small fillet of fish -- cut up or whole (I used whole basa)
salt & pepper to taste
lemon juice (I ran out, so used lime)
3 tablespoon olive oil
3 thin slices of onion
lots of parsley, chopped
clove of garlic, chopped
small tomato, chopped
3 or 4 tablespoon tomato paste (I used basil pasta sauce)
2 tablespoon parmesan cheese

Refrigerate the fish for an hour coated with salt, pepper and lemon juice to taste, to marinade.

In a baking dish, layer onions in a coat of oil on the bottom, and then a generous sprinkle of parsley and garlic. Lay the fish on top of that, and more parsley and garlic on top. Spoon chopped tomatoes over the fish, and then tomato paste (or sauce) and finish with a sprinkle of parmesan. Bake at 350°F for 30 minutes.

Makes 2 servings. This is the original recipe, that feeds an army.

How to make a Big Mac edible

2007-10-08T19:23:00.000-06:00

I decided to try my hand at the McDonalds(tm) Monopoly Game. I don't want to spend money on cheap, bad food, nor support the corporate giant, nor do I wish to break my diet. But I want that Boardwalk piece. I figured I can buy 3 Egg McMuffins (their only truly edible item) in the morning, and have a normal diet-conscious lunch at work, and then buy a coffee and Big Mac for dinner, and take the Big Mac home and have my shake instead. That nets me 10 game pieces a day. Of course, then I was faced with the difficult task of making a Big Mac edible.

I scraped off all the mayonaise and special sauce from each layer, along with the bits of ice-berg lettuce, pickle and onion, leaving only the bun, beef and a slice of cheese stuck to one patty. I patted the buns down with paper towel to get any sauces that remained, then I washed the sauce off the beef, except for the side with cheese, and dried it with more paper towel.

Then I reassembled it in more edible form. A bit of dijon mustard on the bottom bun, a layer of baby spinach and fresh mushroom, then a layer of beef and a generous spinkling of cracked peppercorn. Then another bun, dijon mustard and a bit of Bicks relish (just a bit), another layer of baby spinach and a layer of fresh onion, and then the beef with cheese still stuck on it, and another generous sprinkling of peppercorn. Finally, I cut two tomatoes slices, separately wrapped, to include with the burger just before consumption. It's now a masterpiece.

Man, I should have taken pictures. Maybe next time.

Edit: Cool! I can play online, too.

Cheesy Scallop Soup

2007-09-11T20:45:00.000-06:00

In the interest of taking my life into my own hands, again, with an experimental recipe - and blowing off my diet for a day (or week) - I bring you Cheesy Scallop Soup, which will get its test tomorrow at noon.

1 cup of scallops, washed
4 oz shredded cheese (I used white cheddar, mozzarella and parmesan)
4 oz soy milk (I'm sure cow's milk would do as well)
1 tbsp chopped parsley
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 tsp dill
olive oil
salt and pepper

Cooked the scallops in a pan, 2 minutes on medium heat with a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. Added milk, cheese, and spices and stir for two or three minutes while the cheese melts. Simple. I hope it tastes good reheated.

Spicy Thai Stuff

2007-09-02T14:01:00.001-06:00

I went shopping this weekend, looking for a new cooking sauce. I want something to make my weekly vegetable stew more interesting, and the one I finally settled on is "Legendary Spicy Thai" from Western Family. It contains sugar, but it's "inverted," so I figure that means negative calories, too. Just a taste of it and my upper lip's already burning. Score.

Today's vegetable stew experiment also contains left-over smoked salmon, as it's been in the fridge a week, so I have to use it up.

a can of chick peas, drained and rinsed
a small yellow zuccini, peeled and chopped
a parship, chopped
1/2 a turnip, chopped
a handful of skinny asparagus, chopped
150 g smoked salmon
2 tablespoons peanut oil
4 tablespoons spicy thai sauce
1/4 teaspoon ginger powder
course ground pepper
warm water

Put chopped vegetables in crockpot. Hand-shredded salmon goes on top of veggies. Mix the oil and sauce with some pepper and ginger, and a wee bit of warm water so it will dispurse. Then another bit of warm water to wash it down in the pot. It's cooking on high for 3 hours as I speak.

BBQ

2007-08-27T10:45:00.000-06:00

When planning a company barbecue months in advance, it's a pretty sure bet that on the one day you choose in what is otherwise the warmest month of the year, it will rain. Not only rain but wind, and temperatures dropped below 10°C. I wore my sweater this morning under my coat.

The barbecue, and even the ride there by bus, is free for employees. It's taking place at the Legislature Grounds, which should be pretty this time of year - lots of rain has meant lots of green. It'll be fun, unless we get attacked by wasps. Wasps become aggressive when the temperatures get down around freezing, perhaps panicing with the knowledge of their impending doom after first frost. In any case, I anticipate a nice burger, perhaps chicken burger, and salad fixin's.

I awoke this morning wondering if going to work at all would be a good idea, but soon after getting up I was impressed with a feeling of nostalgia, the same "back to school" feeling I used to get as a kid, when September rolled around and the cooler temperatures meant new clothes, a new year and new friends.

Edit: I had the veggie burger, a very nice one at that. There were door prizes - people were joking that instead of gifts they should have handed out toques and mitts.

Here I am, a Builder

2007-08-17T13:59:00.001-06:00

Here's me. There's you.

I look out on a world of things, including you, including (imaginatively, since I cannot look directly at it) me. It's a sensory world, brought to me courtesy of eyes, ears, smell, taste and touch, and maybe some other senses of bodily function that haven't yet been distinguished. And it's a reasoned world, full of thoughts of things, my interpretations and impressions of the ideas behind things.

Bodily functions take time. Recently I was introduced to the idea of a necessary lag between what we experience as reality and what must actually take place in reality. There would reasonably be a certain amount of time for input to travel to the brain, be stored in memory and interpreted --and no doubt those interpretations also stored in memory --and then recalled as "knowledge" of the present.

Everything takes time; and that means that what we knowingly experience as reality is time-lasped. Imagine it for a moment: you reach out to pick up a glass of water, lift it to your lips and sip. If the above is reasonable and correct, each moment of action actually happened an instant earlier than we "know" it to happen. It happened before the knowledge of it occurs to us, and if "thinking" is equated with the knowledge, then it happened before we even thought of it.

There's a weird thought, that we do things and then think of them after. Some suggest that "thinking" be allocated to that actuality, rather than what's recalled from memory composed as our version of reality.

But there is a more important consideration, there, and one not so hard to wrap the mind around. It's that idea that reality as we know it is composed in the mind. Most people are comfortable with the idea there's reality, and then there's reality as we know it. We know people who "live in their own little world," making up things as the go along; or people who structure their world in anal or tight-fitting ways; or people who mire themselves in ideaologies. So we all --we thinking creatures --have a "reality as we know it" that is unique to us.

The above idea, though, makes that quite literal. If there is a real-time lag, and if what we know of reality is entirely composed in the mind, that suggests the possibility that reality, actual reality, is not the same as what we compose.

There is a possiblity that we cannot know at all what actual reality actually looks like. It would be a chaos, a jumble of nothing, a Void, because all the "things" in my world are ...things (stones) in my world, the world that I build (compose in the mind). Even you, as I stand here looking at you. Even me, as I think of myself. Even objective reality. It's all as I know it. The world is my Lego.

And that is a world-view held by many, and refused by many.

You're a builder, baby
Here I am a stone
Don't you pick and refuse me
'Cause the things people refuse
Are the things they should choose
Do you hear me? Hear what I say

~Cornerstone, Bob Marley

Just Say 'No'

2007-08-14T14:15:00.000-06:00

Got an e-mail today from an informed party with an attached slideshow outlining carefully the terms of the new contract so that, it professed, we might make an "informed decision" on whether to vote Yes or No to the proposal.

The e-mail was duly entitled, "Why you should VOTE NO! to the proposed settlement."

The e-mail suggests that if we vote No to the proposal, which is a compromise that does not even cover inflation, that we can get a better settlement. I suspect they sent out this "information campaign" because no one has ever voted No to the offer of more money before.

I also suspect it will work (I intend to vote "No" based on the information), but that also means that a settlment will be delayed until as late as February. But that also means a lump-sum deposit of retroactive pay. But that also means the lovely lump will be soaked up by debts as soon as it arrives. But that also means that at least some debts will get paid, as otherwise, with me, "a penny earned is a penny spent." Late settlements are actually a good way to save for that rainy day that is never allowed to arrive.

Hoping for a raise soon

2007-08-13T16:06:00.001-06:00

Fire Spinning

2007-08-11T12:42:00.001-06:00

I was impressed by this today, and thought to share it with you (whoever reads this). It's called Last Light, a "fire spinning" dance that is (according to YouTube) performed by Marianne Scahill.

Signs of Early Winter

2007-08-11T09:32:00.000-06:00

I've seen numerous signs, this year, of winter coming early. First the wasps were out a month earlier than usual, and then the mountain ash berries turned early. The mountain ash berries turning red, as they did this week, are a definitive marker of autumn in this area, but it's a month early. And now the temperatures have fallen to 5-10°C.

I used to love the winter, but I've kind of been dreading it this year. I had a difficult time staying warm last year, dispite wearing a bulky sweater almost 24-7. Recently I've begun drinking coffee regularly (3-4 cups a week) in the hopes that restoring some caffeine toxicity will help me be 'normal' again, but I know it's not going to work. It has brought on 'flashes' of perspiring, but that's no substitute for being healthy.

Such an admission could lead me into a long diatribe about how we do things we know we shouldn't, but instead I'm just going to express my undying admiration for the Buddhist who can use logic to rationalize doing the right thing in the face of emotional and 'mental baggage' attachments, and leave it at that.

Recipe for Mouse

2007-08-09T15:22:00.001-06:00

Okay, I have to admit I was a bit taken aback. Where I live, in Edmonton, Alberta, the mice are pretty tiny, about two inches long at the most, and not much meat to speak of. So when, while browsing my favourite recipe site for something exotic, I came across a recipe for "Mice" my first thought was, "How many of the poor little buggers would be called for?"

Fortunately, no tiny creatures are harmed in the making of this dessert, although it might do some harm to the wasteline.

Angelica (Cut two pieces of crystalized (candied) angelica, each about 1/8 inch by 2 inches)*
2 Almonds (blanched)
2 Pear halves, preferably canned (for authenticity), but cooked, fresh pear would do

Carefully halve the almonds along the natural split in the nut. (This is easiest after they are still wet from blanching.) Place the pear halves, round side up, in the serving dish.

At the narrow end of each half, add two almond halves to make mouse ears.
At the other end, insert the angelica to make a tail.

*Hard to find in North America

Sounds cute.

Cravings

2007-08-01T10:42:00.000-06:00

"All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things as a substitute for the joy of being."

~my wall calendar for August

"Opinions, perferences, and other such mental crap are just thoughts that have been reinforced so often they've become unconscious and nearly unavoidable habits."

~Brad Warner, Hardcore Zen

Homeward Bound

2007-07-31T16:11:00.000-06:00

It was 20 years ago today...

That an unprecedented tornado hit Edmonton, Alberta. I watched it approach from the 15th story of an office building --green, boiling clouds churning overhead. Fortunately it didn't damage that office, but it did a lot of damage to the south and east ends of town.

This isn't that storm. This is the view through the window of my current office, just a few minutes ago. People are getting ready to leave early, beat the storm getting home.

I did bring a coat and an umbrella today. I hope it's enough.

Chili Bean Soup

2007-07-24T06:46:00.000-06:00

I tried a recipe for Chili Bean Soup today. Took some time in preparation, but it worked marvelous.

1 cup pinto beans (I used pinto and black mixed)
1/2 teaspoon savory
1/4 teaspoon thyme
3 cups water
1 teaspoon onion bits
1/2 teaspoon garlic bits
bit of salt and pepper
1 can tomato sauce, 16 oz. (I used a jar of Classico tomato and basil sauce)
1 tablespoon chili powder

Soak the beans overnight. Drain the water and put the beans in crockpot with 3 cups of water, savory, thyme, onion, garlic, salt and pepper. Cook on high for at least 3 hours, until beans are soft. Put the entire mixture in a blender and mix on low until you have a pleasing texture. Don't worry about the colour. ;-) Transfer the mixture to a large soup pot and add tomato and chili powder, which gives it a nice reddish colour. Heat slowly until it just begins to boil, then simmer for about 10 minutes.

Might also be good with cheese and sour cream, if you're into that sort of thing. Me, I'm on diet again. No more cheese for a while.

Cinnamon Coconut Rice

2007-07-15T10:49:00.000-06:00

My nephew and friend took me to a Thai restaurant last week, and I had coconut rice, which I enjoyed very much. I decided to try making some myself. I made it with 72% fat reduced coconut milk and a touch of cinnamon.

1 can of coconut milk (about 1 3/4 c)
1 1/4 c chicken stock (to make 3 cups liquid)
1 1/2 c long grain rice
1/4 c dried coconut
1 tsp cinnamon

Yes, no dill. Daring new things.

Raising Awareness

2007-07-10T21:39:00.000-06:00

Information is good, even when it's horrifying. This story is a long read, but well worth the information. It's the story of a war, and of psychological trauma, and of a hope for recovery. It's a story of elephants, and us.

[Elephants] have suffered, we now understand, not simply because of us, but because they are, by and large, us. If as recently as the end of the Vietnam War people were still balking at the idea that a soldier, for example, could be physically disabled by psychological harm — the idea, in other words, that the mind is not an entity apart from the body and therefore just as woundable as any limb — we now find ourselves having to make an equally profound and, for many, even more difficult leap: that a fellow creature as ostensibly unlike us in every way as an elephant is as precisely and intricately woundable as we are. And while such knowledge naturally places an added burden upon us, the keepers, that burden is now being greatly compounded by the fact that sudden violent outbursts like Misty’s can no longer be dismissed as the inevitable isolated revolts of a restless few against the constraints and abuses of captivity.

They have no future without us. The question we are now forced to grapple with is whether we would mind a future without them, among the more mindful creatures on this earth and, in many ways, the most devoted.

My Housekeeper

2007-07-10T18:16:00.000-06:00

I have a rare, and I'm sure unique, feline friend, a very rare breed of medium-haired domestic housekeeping cat. He eats anything off the floor. He sweeps dust and lint with his big, bushy racoon-orange tail. And he's fastidious about picking up after himself. If it's a mess he can't clean, he'll put up a fuss until I clean it.

Oddly enough, his only flaw is in his decorating sense, which lends itself to tipping the shades of the lamps so they're just a little off balance. The overall effect is that your head tilts to put them right. I'm not sure if any visitors have noticed yet, though.

Gone Fishing (for an Angle)

2007-07-10T14:14:00.000-06:00

I haven't written much about astrology lately. I had a bit of an ..."experience" (shifty eyes) that required me to re-examine my philosophy, and I'm still in that process. But re-reading what I'd written earlier, I'm pleased that I can still agree with it. Some minor things I'd change. For instance, I'd firm up Venus a bit, and Pisces. Having been there (experienced Pisces, so to speak) I have better grasp of it than I did before; but perhaps being more vague can stand as a part of the symbolism of the dissolutioned (and disillusioned) self.

Over the last few years (or 20, if you're counting) I found in learning some things about god and reality and such that I had to throw out everything I thought I knew about "God" and start over. I imagine this is not dissimilar to what Descartes did in order to build a philosophy from scratch. And if you want to learn astrology, you pretty much also have to put aside everything that you thought you knew about it. Forget it all. Start from scratch --with your inherent philosophy, because that's where the real astrology happens.

With religious concepts, the "real" world is used to analogize concepts that cannot be expressed in words. Words used in religions are full of metaphorical imagery intended for things "seen" from the perspective that looks at reality encompassing the "other side" (more metaphor). For instance, things like "eternal life" and "salvation" have a particular meaning when viewed from this new perspective.

That works both ways. In describing the Signs of Astrology, I did the reverse. I employed the metaphors of religious concepts as analogy to portray the meaning of the Signs, in an effort to communicate the human experience in a language appropriate to religious folk on RF (and to my own psyche). It worked splendidly, at least for one person in my audience (one is enough). It was the most successful thing I've written there, I think.

Eh; I had fun doing it.

Telling people to throw out everything they thought they knew about something and learn it in a new way has its draw-backs, though. For one, what I would be teaching them, then, is not "astrology as they know it," but something entirely else. I can call it "astrology," but they might be unwilling to go that far; to them, the other will always be astrology. Or I could call it "the really real absolute truth about astrology" and compromise my own integrity. Haha. Just kidding.

On the advantage side, I have at RF an audience of many people who did just that: they abandoned old concepts of God to embrace something that made more sense. I've met them, and I was one, so I know it can happen; and I've met many still going through the process.

Haha! Reading back to the idea of having finally experienced being Pisces, I had a funny image of the wheel of the Zodiac going "clunk!" as it was finally able to finish one tired revolution for me at 46 years. Oh, golly.

Idle Prattle

2007-07-09T11:02:00.000-06:00

The sky outside my window this morning is stormy. I'm finding it distracting, sitting here trying to do my work. It draws my gaze. And I find it a bit disturbing how well it reflects the confusion of my thoughts.

It does that a lot.

More is less, less is more. In is out, out is in. I kind of thought that in exploring ideas about reality things would get simpler, but if they are I'm having trouble seeing it. And it's getting worse as time goes by.

They say that to lose yourself entirely is enlightenment, but if I lose it in confusion does that count?

Cucumbers

2007-07-06T16:16:00.000-06:00

You know, all my life I'd heard about these strange people with a particular incomprehensible belief that try as I might was too hard to grasp... and now, it seems, I am one!

You never think it can happen to you, but then one day, out of the blue, something changes --some experience that alters your perceptions, or some piece of learning intrudes on your consciousness --that is undeniable, and your entire reality gets shifted just a little to accommodate it, and whoosh! you suddenly find yourself in the same position as all those people you once thought were so weird. You know what I mean?

I officially hate the taste of cucumbers. How did this happen? They used to taste so sweet and fresh --in fact, if I had chosen one word to describe the taste of them, it would have been "fresh." I loved cumcumbers, and now I just gag at the smell of them. Power to you people who can still believe they taste good, though. (Power on, brother! uhh!)

Will wonders never cease.

Herbs

2007-07-06T12:40:00.000-06:00

I use a lot of freeze-dried herbs. They retain good flavour while still being convenient. I especially like the freeze-dried garlic bits, because real garlic tends to stink up my fridge no matter how tightly I seal it. Plus, it has a disturbing habit of making exploding noises that can be heard through a closed fridge door and half-way across the living room if it's kept for more than 4 months in a sealed container. Then it *really* smells.

I have access to an extensive herbal garden, presented to me weekly at the Saturday farmer's market, but still I buy fresh herbs sparingly, for specific recipes. There's so many to choose from, and I'm not well learned on any of them. The ones I have bought made their way into some of Neil's recipes (he's very inspiring, you know, grows his own and all).

My most recent fresh acquisition was a catnip plant. I bought it for Tigh, to give the leaves as treats. I hadn't thought ahead. First there was the problem of where to store it where he couldn't get at it and eat the whole thing in a day. I settled on keeping it in the fridge. I had to rip the leaves into small bits, else he would just stare at them and walk away baffled (it didn't look like any catnip he knew). Ripping released the odor; on the other hand, now that he's learned those boring old leaves can taste good, he might get it into his head to experiment with other things. I don't have indoor plants to worry about, but if he gets outside he might defoliate the neighbourhood.

Carrot Dill Soup

2007-07-03T20:22:00.001-06:00

I'm experimenting with soup, today. I adapted a recipe from the web, simple and easy to make.

3 cups chicken broth
4 carrots, chopped in large pieces (a little over 2 cups)
1 spanish onion, chopped in large pieces, saving some of the best of the green leaf aside
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 bottle dill (or, if you prefer, 1 tbsp)
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp parsley
1/4 tsp cumin

Bring the broth to a boil, let cool a bit and then save half of it in a covered container to keep warm. Also, save some of the chopped green leaf of the spanish onion to add last.

Put all other ingredients in the pot and simmer for 30 minutes. Put in blender and puree, adding the rest of the broth gently to the mix. Top off with fresh green leaf of the onion.

Masterpiece. Or disaster, we'll soon see.

What I learned long ago...

2007-06-28T11:32:00.000-06:00

If one person experiences it, it's a phenomenon. If two people experience it, it's an event. But if three people experience it --especially three people in unrelated circumstances --then it's a conspiracy.

What I learned today...

2007-06-28T09:32:00.000-06:00

Remember, P3 is ASAP, so send it to 1D.

How does it feel...? I wonder

2007-06-25T07:17:00.000-06:00

Every single human being in the world at some time thinks that "if only" this or that one of our conditions could be met then we'd all be set. "If only I had a girlfriend/boyfriend/million bucks, then I'd be happy." Or in the case of the more spiritually minded: "If only I were enlightened, then that would settle everything once and for all." Think again.
An old Chinese Zen master once said, "From birth to death, it's just like this!"
Wherever you go in the world of human beings is pretty much the same. Only the details are different. All of my gaijin teacher friends who wanted to get out of Japan and back to the "real world" have discovered that the "real world" is hardly any different than the place they were leaving.
We always want to believe that somewhere there's a perfect solution, if only we weren't barred from it. But that's not the reality.
We always imagine that there's got to be somewhere else better than where we are right now; this is the Great Somewhere Else we all carry around in our heads. We believe Somewhere Else is out there for us if only we could find it. But there's no Somewhere Else. Everything is right here.
Maybe your lot right now could be improved. I know mine could. And working to make things better is great. But we don't just work to make things better and leave it at that, do we? We live in the idealized world inside of our heads. And that keeps us from ever really enjoying what we have right now, from enjoying the work that we're doing to create a better tomorrow. It's as if we're afraid to commit to this moment because a better one might come along later.
This approach is totally ridiculous and completely absurd.

~Brad Warner

No Longer Garlic-Free

2007-06-24T08:01:00.000-06:00

This news item caught my eye, particularly because I'm a recent convert to garlic. It seems that there are many who are like I was, who don't like garlic, and this chef in Italy is one of them. "To critics it is just a stinky product that overwhelms more delicate flavors." He has tailored all his recipes to exclude it.

But the story doesn't end there. According to the article, there is a heated debate going on in Italy about the virtues of garlic, fueled by "The Crusade of Garlic Enemies." I so might have been one with them in spirit, in the past, if it'd only begun a few years earlier.

They even have a former Premier on their side, who "considers garlic very dangerous for the environment, his personal environment... They put garlic in almost any dish: With meat, with fish, everywhere. It's not politically correct to impose garlic on everybody."

A Book about Dogen

2007-06-22T13:13:00.000-06:00

I put the Vedic astrology book aside; even "simplified" by a Western author as it was, it was a bit too strange. I have to learn more about Vedism before I can tackle that again. But the book I then picked up is about Zen Buddhism, called Sit Down and Shut Up. It's by Brad Warner, of whom I can imagine a lot of criticism was spawned, as well as a lot of praise for his approach. I like it because it's very readable.

This is his second book. I decided to start here as I already have some idea of what it is to be enlightened, and I'll catch up on the first book, Hardcore Zen, later. However, in a clever scheme unparalleled by prior clever schemes, I sent the first book to my nephew in B.C. to read with the intent that when we're each finished our respective books we can swap, and get the whole story.

This book is specifically about Dogen. Here's a quote:

...me, I'm a monster movie fanboy, and Nishijima is a Shobogenzo fanboy of the highest order. It was his enthusiasm for the book that finally got me to decide I was gonna sit there and make my way through the whole ninety-five chapters, even if it killed me.
What surprised me is that I really enjoyed it. In fact, I read it all the way through again. And then again. In the end I became a Dogen fanboy too. But when I quote Dogen, I'm not doing it the way most religious guys quote their favourite holy books. I'm not saying, "Here is what the voice of ultimate authority says on the subject." I'm saying, "Here are the words of a person who put this difficult subject into words very well." As a writer, no one yet has even come close to matching Dogen's ability to express the inexpressible. Of course, he failed. What he was trying to put into words cannot, by its very nature, be put into words. Yet he tried anyway, and that's what makes Dogen a genius and makes his writing so valuable even eight hundred years after he wrote it. He expresses himself perfectly, even to the point of expressing his own limitations with absolute clarity. Dogen did not tolerate bullshit of any kind, even when it was his own. There are very few, if any, like him.

Dogen is the author, Shobogenzo is his book, and Zen Buddhism is the topic; and all together they are the topic of this book. I think this is one I can enjoy cover to cover.

The Year of No Emotion

2007-06-20T15:34:00.000-06:00

Every year of my adult life has been characterized by something. Some years by pervasive emotive states like anger or happiness, some by repetitive or unusual circumstances, some by significant markers or signs. This year shall hereafter be known as 'The Year My Taste Buds Changed'. Not just taste and smell are affected... my bodily wastes smell different to me and I suspect my body odor has changed, though I've been reluctant to walk up to people and ask: "Hey, do I smell different to you?" On the plus side, it's encouraged me to explore new taste sensations, especially hot foods, so it's been a positive change for the most part.

It's not the first time such a drastic change has happened to me. In me. The year 2003 in particular was a remarkable one that I have little doubt was part of the same life changes that have affected my taste buds this year and will continue into the future --it was 'The Year of No Emotions', so named when I became entirely disassociated from an ability to feel, emotionally.

It was odd. I woke up one morning from sleep in early May, and sat straight up in bed with this knowing fully formed in my mind that I couldn't feel anything. There were thoughts and sensations, but no emotions. No happy, no sad, no worry, no surprise. Nothing. Not even depression. I would have been alarmed about it, if I could feel alarm.

I tried to remember the last time I had felt anything. It might have begun that day, or it might have been going on for a couple of weeks. I could have carried on "blissfully" unaware and unconcerned about it for a while without realising. Throughout the day I observed myself to see if I was mistaken. I found that I was experiencing physical reactions, like a nervous tensing in my gut or muscles, but there was no accompanying feeling that I could associate with it as an emotion.

I tried tests to determine the extent of my condition. This mostly included going to sad and funny romantic movies, action movies, and movies that would have ordinarily pissed me off with their stupidity. Nothing. I had tears in all the right places, chills up my spine, the occasional adrenaline rush and speeding up of heart beat, or an intellectual snort of humor or scoff of disgust, but I didn't feel anything.

This condition lasted for months, while I went through my days behaving as I knew I should if I did feel things. It certainly wasn't a bad thing, to not feel. It uncomplicated life a lot. The choices I made were generally better, I was uncritical of others and myself, and the act of doing things for good reason rather than because it felt right helped me put a few things right in my life. After two or so months, I gave up on the notion that I would feel again and became resigned to it. But I did miss some things about my former life, most notably 'love'.

The first hint of emotion occured in September, while I was riding on the bus to work. I was thinking about things, as I often do when I travel, anticipating unpleasant circumstances that could arise at work that day, and as I imagined how things might go, I felt anger rising in me. When I realised it, I was so shocked by feeling anything that it immediately dissipated (much to my chagrin) but it gave me hope that things could improve.

Feelings returned in November through January, starting at the lower end of the emotional spectrum with the negative things like anger, jealousy and distain. Hate. I don't know why they were the first to appear --perhaps negative emotions are more easily accessible, as on the emotional spectrum the things that can hurt the most have the strongest effect. I would like to think it's because they are the least natural. The more natural emotions, then, came later, a bit at a time --ones that I recognized and even a few that I didn't have names for. It was not unlike a flower unfolding, pedal by pedal, until in January I experienced a full blooming --an emotional state that I hadn't realised existed. I had no name for it; I called it "normal".

You know how utter silence can make you suspect you've gone deaf? The constant presence of sound is a background hum that sustains our hearing. Without that hum, we do not hear. I experienced a "hum" of emotion that I believe is present in everyone, and that we would not realise unless it's gone and returns. For the first time in 7 months, I felt normal.

In a large part, my period of emotional loss gives me expectation that my change of tastes will not persist. I do know that when things taste more "normal," overall I'll have a richer and more varied repertoire of flavours to appreciate.

Redeem The Space You Are

2007-06-13T13:04:00.000-06:00

On the deepest level, the Gods and the planets represent the spiritual potentials and faculties within us. The Sun is our inner Self, our Divine being. Venus is our sense of Divine love, beauty and grace. We must raise the influences of the planets from the lower level of world manifestation, in which we live, to the higher level of self-manifestation, to which we aspire. To save ourselves, we must redeem the planets, we must reintegrate the cosmic rays. To use an ancient metaphor, enlightenment is resurrecting the Sun out of darkness. We must redeem that portion of the cosmos we are, not for our own special salvation, but to further the evolution of the entire cosmos. Yet, as One Self is all and all is One Self, there is only one continuous act of liberation which is existence itself. What is necessary is to become conscious of it. To do this is to cause the Sun of truth to arise within our hearts.

I am reading The Astrology of the Seers: A Guide to Vedic (Hindu) Astrology by David Frawley, pg. 29.

To explain, the idea is that in Unity one recognizes an "inner" self that is more real than the ego we perpetuate through "world manifestation." The inner self is deemed "higher," and so enlightenment is seen as a "lifting" of the consciousness to live in the expanded realm of "higher" existence. With this conscious mindset the individual is connected to all of creation, and "self-manifestation" then puts us in touch with the "forces of nature."

While in our deeper Self we can control these forces, in our ego we can only be their victim.

Still, the quote gave me pause to wonder who is the benefactor of religious "salvation"? If we can "fix" our own little corner of reality by uniting ourselves in spirit with the Creator, are we saving ourselves or are we saving him/her/it?

(Yes, I know it's fanciful.)

Wednesday

2007-06-06T06:42:00.000-06:00

One wicked windy winter Wednesday, Wanda the Witch went down to the well to wash her wig in the water. "But the wheel on the well was worn, and Wanda grew weary. So she waved her wand, and her washtub filled with warm water. But just as Wanda was about to drop her wig into the warm water, a wild wind whipped the wig from her hand and blew it away forever. Which taught Wanda this lesson: witches who wash their wigs on windy winter Wednesdays are wacky."

Khalil Gibran on purpose

2007-06-05T12:38:00.001-06:00

God of lost souls, thou who art lost amongst the gods, hear me:
Gentle Destiny that watcheth over us, mad, wandering spirits, hear me:

I dwell in the midst of a perfect race, I the most imperfect.

I, a human chaos, a nebula of confused elements, I move amongst finished worlds - peoples of complete laws and pure order, whose thoughts are assorted, whose dreams are arranged, and whose visions are enrolled and registered.

Their virtues, O God, are measured, their sins are weighed, and even the countless things that pass in the dim twilight of neither sin nor virtue are recorded and catalogued.

Here days and nights are divided into seasons of conduct and governed by rules of blameless accuracy.

To eat, to drink, to sleep, to cover one's nudity, and then to be weary in due time.

To work, to play, to sing, to dance, and then to lie still when the clock strikes the hour.

To think thus, and feel thus much, and then to cease thinking and feeling when a certain star rises above yonder horizon.

To rob a neighbour with a smile, to bestow gifts with a graceful wave of the hand, to praise prudently, to blame cautiously, to destroy a soul with a word, to burn a body with a breath, and then to wash the hands when the day's work is done.

To love according to an established order, to entertain one's best self in a preconceived manner, to worship the gods becomingly, to intrigue the devils artfully - and then to forget all as though memory were dead.

To fancy with a motive, to contemplate with consideration, to be happy sweetly, to suffer nobly - and then to empty the cup so that tomorrow may fill it again.

All these things, O God, are conceived with forethought, born with determination, nursed with exactness, governed by rules, directed by reason, and then slain and buried after a prescribed method. And even their silent graves that lie within the human soul are marked and numbered.

It is a perfect world, a world of consummate excellence, a world of supreme wonders, the ripest fruit in God's garden, the master-thought of the universe.

But why should I be here, O God, I a green seed of unfulfilled passion, a mad tempest that seeketh neither east nor west, a bewildered fragment from a burnt planet?

Why am I here, O God of lost souls, thou who art lost amongst the gods?

~'a perfect world'

Potato Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

2007-06-02T14:02:00.000-06:00

This is my project for the weekend, though with half the recipe and using sweet potato. I'm quite looking forward to it.

The one and only cooking tip I recall getting from my maternal grandmother was about cooking cabbage rolls. She emphasized the importance of boiling the cabbage (more than just parboiled) to soften the leaves.

1 head cabbage
5 pounds potatoes, peeled
2 onions
1/2 cup rice, raw
1 teaspoon dried dill weed
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, ground
2 egg whites
28 ounces tomatoes
1 apple, peeled and sliced
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

"Parboil cabbage and separate the leaves. Slice off part of the heavy stalk of each leaf by slicing parallel to the leaf (do not cut into the leaf).
"Grate potatoes, small inner leaves of cabbage, and one of the onions. Mix together. Add rice, dill, and black pepper.
"Beat egg whites until frothy and add to potato mixture.
"Set aside two or three of the largest leaves. Fill each remaining cabbage leaf with approximately 2 tablespoon of the potato mixture. Fold up bottom of leaf, then fold in the sides, and roll up. Secure with toothpick if necessary.
"Slice the reserved leaves and line the bottom of crock pot with them. Slice second onion and layer on top of cabbage. Add tomatoes, apple, and ginger. Place rolled stuffed cabbages into pot.
"Cook at low heat for 4 to 5 hours."

I need a bumper sticker that says, "Go dill!"

How to tell when you're procrastinating

2007-06-01T08:41:00.001-06:00

The phrase "Yeah, I have to do something about that, don't I?" comes up, frequently.

Don't Forget

2007-05-31T09:10:00.000-06:00

Whether [God] exists is not its purpose or its value, even though in popular usage in the modern world (because we tend to focus on ontology almost to the exclusion of epistemology in the way we think) whether "God" "exists" or not is the question. What I'm suggesting is that it's the wrong question. The question of "God" is epistemological (see my sig line for further, specific details), and ethical, but not ontological/metaphysical in any sense that we engage in ontology anymore.
(Brendan McBride)

Fish can be so boring

2007-05-27T09:29:00.000-06:00

You got to liven up your fish, cuz I said so...

I have recently become enamoured of brushetta fish, using a hot banana pepper brushetta topping ready-made from the Farmer's Market.*

three fillets of fish (pollock or haddock, good with crabmeat too)
three heaping tablespoons of brushetta topping
a tablespoon of olive oil
a small bit o' butter
clove garlic, chopped

Cook the fish in the oil and butter on medium heat until done on one side, about seven minutes. I always add a pinch of dill, but you can include salt and pepper or whatever spices pleases you on that day.

Turn the fish over and cook for t'other side two minutes. Drain off the liquid and add chopped garlic and brushetta topping. Break the fillets up with a spoon and mix them in. When it boils turn it down to simmer for a few more minutes.

Makes two servings.

*Listed ingredients: fresh tomato, onion, garlic, nuts, basil, olive oil, vinegar, cilantro, spices plus the flavour d'jour, hot banana pepper

Leonard Cohen

2007-05-26T10:27:00.000-06:00

After more than two years, I finally put my Bob Marley disks away. I revisited Dan Fogelberg for a while --and glad of it --but the next artist I'm going to explore is Leonard Cohen. Like the others, his use of imagry and metapor, as well as catchy tunes, is what most attracts me to his work.

2007-05-17T14:10:00.001-06:00

An Observation

2007-05-15T13:05:00.000-06:00

The more I say the less I have said, until I say it all and've said nothing.

Kahlil Gibran on Everlasting Life

2007-05-14T13:01:00.000-06:00

Is it that the nights pass by us
And destiny treads us underfoot?
Is it thus the ages engulf us and remember us not, sure as a name upon a page writ in water in place of ink?

Is this life to be extinguished
And this love to vanish
And these hopes to fade?

Shall death destroy that which we build,
And the winds scatter our words
And darkness hide our deeds?

Is this then life?
A past that has gone and left no trace,
A present, pursuing the past?
Or a future, without meaning, save when it is present and past?

Shall all that is joy in our hearts
And all that saddens our spirit
Vanish ere we know their fruits?

Shall man be as the foam
That sits an instant on the ocean's face
And is taken by the passing breeze
And is no more?

No, in truth, for the verity of life is life;
Life whose birth is not in the womb
Nor its end in death.

What are these years if not an instant in Eternity?
~excerpt from A Tear and a Smile

Six months ago I would have read these lines and assigned them different meaning than I do now. The images "foam" and "death" would have tantalized; and the symbolic birth "not in the womb" would have puzzled; and "Eternity" would have taken its meaning from the span of years, rather than they from it.

Now I have become the foam, one with the ocean depths from which it springs and of which it is a part.

And all that has really changed in the interim is my perspective. Isn't that neat?

My First Poem

2007-05-11T13:57:00.000-06:00

coffee coffee coffee, coffee coffee *cough*
coffee coffee coffee! coffee whiskey *cough*
coffee coffee coffee, coffee coffee *cough*
coffee! coffee! coffee! coffee! coffee coffee *gasp* croak!

I call it "coffee coffee coffee". Look for it published under the pseudonom "me me me".

Atrophy

2007-05-04T11:30:00.000-06:00

The problem with atrophy is that the less you do, the less you are capable of doing, and so the less you do. But is this really a problem? In one sense it can be seen as a failure to motivate oneself, or a failure of fitness, but there's no need to be so negative --if we simply look at it the right way, what we see is participation in a very successful feedback loop.

My Destiny is Published

2007-05-04T10:42:00.000-06:00

A while ago, I had reason to look up 'Fate' at Wikipedia and was quite disappointed to be redirected to the page called 'Destiny'. They are not the same thing, and I felt the distinction important so I submitted a blurb I had written a while ago about destiny in Astrology.

The entry on Destiny as since been edited, not unexpectedly, and the author(s) of the overhaul did a very good job. Part of it, the bit on Destiny vs. Fate, includes much that I had submitted. I've made a concrete contribution to the history of mankind.

Go me.

Perogies Done Right

2007-05-01T18:53:00.001-06:00

For those who may wonder, perogie (pierogi) is a potato filled dumpling in a half-moon shape. The filling base is a mix of potato and cheese, sometimes with other things like meat, fruit and breadcrumbs. (Not often with images of Jesus (Dracula? George Carlin?) burned in, though.) I just like plain cheese ones --cottage cheese or cheddar.

My favourite brand is Cheemo, which are tastey though perhaps not the most nutritious. They also have some awesome fresh ones at our local Farmer's Market, and I heard tell of a small outlet on the north end that has a must-try periogi that is "to die for," but I forget the name.

The key to a good perogie dish is not good ingredients, I have found --although that counts too, of course --it's simply proper preparation. I used to just throw them in a bot of boiling water for 5 minutes and be done with it, served with a bit of cottage cheese; but for the first time in my life I did perogies right today, pan-frying them. This recipe is for a single serving.

5 perogies, fresh or frozen
1/4 onion or less, chopped
1 clove garlic, chopped
1-2 tbsp olive oil
1 pat of butter (about 1 tsp)
shredded cheese: cheddar or some other sharp variety
cottage cheese or sour cream
dill and cracked pepper to taste
chopped parsley for garnish

If perogies are frozen, bring a small pot of water to boil. Add periogies to the hot water and turn off the heat, let them sit for a minute to thaw. Drain the water.

Meanwhile in a frying pan on medium, heat oil, butter, and a bit of dill, and cook the onions for about 3 minutes. Add garlic. If you enjoy toasty garlic you can add it at an earlier point in the cooking.

Add perogies and cook on one side for about 2 minutes, then turn over for another minute. Cover lightly with pepper and shredded cheese, transfer them to the plate and garnish. Serve with a large dollop of cottage cheese or sour cream.

The Sand and the Foam

2007-04-29T16:08:00.000-06:00

I am for ever walking upon these shores,
Betwixt the sand and the foam.
The high tide will erase my foot-prints,
And the wind will blow away the foam.
But the sea and the shore will remain
For ever.

I bought a book of poetry today. It's not the first one I've owned, but it will be the first one I've read. The other (one, I think) is tucked away in a box somewhere, or given away to someone who will make use of it. This one, I bought today, is for me.

I opened it to a random page, and this was the first poem I read. It touched me. I was especially moved by the images of eternal sea and transient foam, that reminded me of a song from so long ago that I loved so much, by Dan Fogelberg.

The poem is Sand and Foam, by Kahlil Gibran, and the book is The Essential Gibran.

Kitty Litter Cake

2007-04-28T18:47:00.000-06:00

I was so impressed with this such that, although I could never make it myself, I must reproduce the recipe for your perusal.

Yes! It's edible.

Ingredients

1 (18.25 ounce) package German chocolate cake mix
1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix
2 (3.5 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
1 (12 ounce) package vanilla sandwich cookies
3 drops green food coloring
1 (12 ounce) package tootsie rolls

Directions

1 Prepare cake mixes and bake according to package directions (any size pan).

2 Prepare pudding according to package directions and chill until ready to assemble.

3 Crumble sandwich cookies in small batches in a food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup add a few drops of green food coloring and mix.

4 When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with 1/2 of the remaining cookie crumbs, and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding, you want the cake to be just moist, not soggy.

5 Line kitty litter box with the kitty litter liner. Put cake mixture into box.

6 Put half of the unwrapped tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until softened. Shape the ends so that they are no longer blunt, and curve the tootsie rolls slightly. Bury tootsie rolls randomly in the cake and sprinkle with half of the remaining cookie crumbs. Sprinkle a small amount of the green colored cookie crumbs lightly over the top.

7 Heat 3 or 4 of the tootsie rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle lightly with some of the green cookie crumbs. Heat the remaining tootsie rolls until pliable and shape as before. Spread all but one randomly over top of cake mixture. Sprinkle with any remaining cookie crumbs. Hang the remaining tootsie roll over side of litter box and sprinkle with a few green cookie crumbs. Serve with the pooper scooper for a gross Halloween dessert.

Too cool.

I Gave My Love a Cherry

2007-04-28T01:54:00.000-06:00

A favourite from my childhood:

I gave my love a cherry, it had no stone
I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone
I gave my love a baby, and then you see
My love got very angry and she said to me

I didn't mind the cherry without the stone
I didn't mind the chicken without the bone
But when you give a baby, there's just one thing
You ought to give at least an engagement ring

~Allan Sherman

Long before Weird Al Yankovic there was Allan Sherman, for me at least. His particular brand of Jewish oriented musical humour was a favourite of my mom's, and so permeated my childhood. His lyrics often parodied popular tunes or famous works with wit that I very often only half understood. Even if the name doesn't ring a bell, you may be familiar with at least one of his songs: A Letter from Camp.

Another favourite by Sherman:

Wild Rice Salad

2007-04-25T18:30:00.000-06:00

I can't drink Coca-Cola anymore, and most soft drinks, especially those with nutrasweet. In fact, I can smell a disgustingly sweet odor coming from the vending machines from 6 feet away. I used to have a slogan, "Life is good: eat it up"; now real food (life) is all I can eat. It's so strange.

There are some soft drinks that are acceptable, though, mostly from the organic store. I'm probably the only person in the whole world (though maybe not after this post) who can claim rye and chinotto as my favourite alcoholic blend. Chinotto is a bitter orange from Italy, and makes for a palatable soda with cane sugar.

I tried two new salads at the organic store today, and bought them both. One is a wild rice and pecan salad with a sweet ginger sauce, veggies and fresh herbs, and the other is beet and fennel in a mustard vinegar sauce. Both marvelous, both for lunch tomorrow. I have to learn how to make them myself. I did a search and didn't find the exact same salad, but I did find one that looks very promising as a start.

Wild Rice Salad

1 lb. wild rice
3 cans vegetable or chicken broth
One bunch of green onions, sliced
2/3 large box of golden raisins
1/2 lb. pine nuts, toasted

Dressing:
3/4 C. olive oil
1/4 C. red wine vinegar
6 cloves minced garlic (or to taste)
1 T. Dijon mustard

Cook rice in broth until slightly just tender. This will take a long time (about 40 minutes); you can add water as needed if the broth runs low.

When done, drain off remaining broth. Toss with remaining salad ingredients. Put dressing in a bottle. Shake well and pour over salad. Let sit for a couple of hours. Serve at room temperature

I need currents instead of raisins, and pecans instead of pine nuts, though it might be good with both. Things I'll have to add include teriyaki sauce, ginger, mint, parsley and anise seed. I'll play around with it a bit until it's good.

Serbian Kryptonite

2007-04-25T09:19:00.000-06:00

A mineralogist at London's Natural History Museum has identified a new substance that matches the fictional make-up of Superman's kryptonite.

Once the London expert had unravelled the mineral's chemical make-up, he was shocked to discover this formula was already referenced in literature - albeit fictional literature.

"Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral's chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luthor from a museum in the film Superman Returns."

"I'm afraid it's not green and it doesn't glow either - although it will react to ultraviolet light by fluorescing a pinkish-orange," he told BBC News.

Did I mention that Kevin Spacey was the best Lex Luthor ev-ar?

Mmm, mushroom

2007-04-24T15:51:00.000-06:00

Now that's a fun-guy. Scientists have identified a gigantic fossil with "a tree-like trunk" as being of a "towering fungi" variety.

Known as Prototaxites, the giant fungus originally was thought to be a conifer. Then some believed it was a lichen, or various types of algae. Some suspected it was a fungus.

"A 20-foot-fungus doesn't make any sense. Neither does a 20-foot-tall algae make any sense, but here's the fossil," C. Kevin Boyce, a University of Chicago assistant professor of geophysical sciences, said in a statement.

Evidently it was amongst the last of a species that flourished when "no animals with a backbone had left the oceans yet."

The Lost Philosophy

2007-04-17T15:31:00.000-06:00

As you may know, the character of John Locke on LOST is named after a famous philosopher. Also, Desmond Hume's middle name is David, making for the inclusion of another famous philosopher in the show. I did a search for "lost phillosophy" hoping to find information on other philosophers that may have been included, and that led me to the Lostpedia.

This site is totally cool. It is an online encyclopedia of everything that's been discovered on LOST so far, gathering in one convenient place all the bits of information garnered from and about the show. It's a place to keep all the "facts" straight, because as any viewer will tell you there's a lot that could be clues to the mysteries presented in the show.

The information is up-to-date, so if you may be spoiled by some information if you haven't yet seen those episodes. The hit I got was a page about the philosophers on LOST, though I am skeptical of a few listed there. I also think they didn't do justice to David Hume's metaphysical ideas. My searches also turned up a few interesting hits that may or may not be coincidence...

For one thing, "Sensei" James Ford is "a renowned Zen master in two lineages," who brought Zen to North America. Now, as you probably know, Zen is a spiritual teaching that touches on metaphysical concepts. "Boundless Way" Zen is a "study of the great way, allowing the wisdom of form and emptiness to manifest within and as engaged lives."

Kate Austen, of Caplinger Mills near Denver CO, lived in the early 20th Century and was spoken of briefly in the autobiography "Living my Life" by Emma Goldwin. Emma writes, "Her writings showed her to be a logical thinker, well-informed, and of revolutionary fibre, while her letters to me indicated an affectionate, sensitive being." Although not mentioned as a philosopher, she was influential in making people aware of social issues. "Risen from the depths, she had reached intellectual heights many educated people could not touch. She loved life, and her soul was aflame for the oppressed, the suffering, and the poor... she was the only woman who had come close to me and who understood the complexities of my being better than I did myself."

And Juliet Burke (Sharman-Burke) is a psychologist who has written books on tarot and astrology that utilize a mythology angle. They explore the usefulness of symbolism in a context of a shamanistic exploration of oneself.

Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

_____________

John Locke, Man of Steel

I Gave my Cat an Addiction

2007-04-15T17:56:00.000-06:00

I gave my cat an addiction, and one I feel very good about. After the recent fervor in North America over cat foods recalled, and since my own switch to healthier eating, it became necessary to find something appropriate for my feline best friend. I visited my favourite organic store, Planet Organic, and found Addiction cat food made in New Zealand and chocked full of good stuff for kitty.

Those NZ cats really know their stuff. Tigh liked both the Bushtail and Vegetables Entrée and the Unagi & Seaweed Entrée, though I have to confess NZ cats eat some strange critters.

(Here, they only eat mad cow.)

Creamy Mushroom Rice

2007-04-13T12:58:00.000-06:00

A variation on my previous receipe, it's really good. I use 'Newman's Own' creamy garlic Ranch dressing. It boasts "all natural ingredients."

3 cups of vegetable broth
1 cup long-grain brown rice
1/3 cup of wild rice
1 tbsp dill
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp garlic bits or 1 clove garlic, chopped
3/4 cup peas
2 med. to large mushrooms, chopped
3 olives, chopped
3 tbsp of Ranch dressing

Cook rice in vegetable broth with dill, rosemary and garlic for 50 minutes or so. When it's mostly done, add peas, mushrooms and olives and let finish. Then add Ranch dressing and stir well.

Artichoke!

2007-04-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

My newest learning: how to eat an artichoke. I had to look it up, such was it baffling. Boil it whole for 7 minutes - I can do that. Break off one leaf at a time - I can do that. Dip the thick end in something - I tried a plum sauce but it overpowered the flavour of artichoke a bit, so I settled on just Becel margarine - and scrape off as much as you can with your teeth. Good so far. Then you reach a point where there is just not enough leaf for it to be worthwhile, and if you go further you discover why the artichoke is truly a thistle: it's rather flowery inside, at the "choke." But the stem is good, and makes for a nice fiberous addition to my weekly root stew.

Still, threw away a lot of the plant, so perhaps not worth the cost of it.

Beets!

2007-04-08T14:35:00.000-06:00

I have recently come to adore beets, and I learned today, through a bit of investigation, that the proper way to cook them is whole. Scrub the outside under running water, and cook for about an hour until they are soft, by whatever means you prefer --boiling, pressure cooking, or crockpot --and then they can be peeled and chopped while warm and included in a variety of recipes, most notably salad with pine nuts and a cream garlic dressing.

You heard it here first. Maybe.

The Celestine Prophecy

2007-04-03T10:16:00.000-06:00

I watched the movie The Celestine Prophecy on the weekend, and enjoyed it. One amusing thing about this movie is that the stars in it look almost like famous people, as if they actually meant to cast Tom Cruise, Kirstin Dunst, Sigourney Weaver, etc. but opted to save some money. The overall effect is that you're getting a big budget movie even though you're watching relative unknowns.

*spoiler* The movie presents a concept of an "evolution" of spirit that allows people to be attuned to psychic-type phenomena and able to induce a sort of invisible or immaterial manifestation for their physical being. Yes, it's a fantasy, but an attractive one.

In the movie, the character of Julia tells the lead John that in order to understand the knowledge that the prophecy contains, knowledge that will "change the way a person views the world," one need only "open up" and "believe the experience exists." To me, it was reminiscent of someone trying to describe something in terms that have "no words" to describe them directly, but at the same time I thought there are probably, almost certainly always, better terms that could be employed. There is, necessarily, a path for everyone to gain the knowledge another holds, whether it be literally or non-literally communicated, and Julia was including as a part of her communication her path, a path that needn't also be his.

For the "no word" thing, it's a matter of finding a "right" image or analogy to communicate non-literally, something to make that light blub in another go 'click'.

Oh Dear

2007-04-03T09:30:00.000-06:00

Since yesterday, I've been "looking" for (noticing) fattiness in the taste of things. It's not unexpected: the mind becomes "a-tuned" (like a tune stuck in your head) to things that have been brought to its attention --"You're it!" --and now, and for the next little while, "it" will be the fattiness in foods I eat.

Well, my shakes made with the protein powder in soy milk passed the test --not so fatty that I took notice. My snacks of pecan and almonds are good. My vegetable dish for lunch passed a small taste test, too (yay for alliteration); but my "diet" chocolate "snack" is a failure. I honestly never noticed how fatty-tasting it was before.

I know, there is a fattiness measure on the label; but it's just words, and until the words mean something experientially significant, they're ...just words.

This awareness, as long as it lasts, will probably help me cut down on consumption of fatty things like the chocolate, so score one for the diet.

Imagine That

2007-04-02T16:29:00.000-06:00

I cooked two fillets of sea bass this morning that I had thawed overnight, and brought one to work for lunch. The fish was very tasty, seasoned with just salt, cracked pepper, and a lemon-herb sprinkle that I use on all my fishes, but it was also a very fatty meat. I'm not used to such fatty taste anymore, so I put half of it back in the fridge and am thinking to mix the fillets with some rice.

Yes, this is how I spent my afternoon at work: looking for spicy rice recipes.

A quick search pulled up three recipes that were almost identical, which could be a coincidence, or it could be that they copied from each other, or it could just be an endorsement that speaks to the wide-spread popularity of this particular recipe.

1/2 c. onion, finely chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 c. long grain rice
3 tbsp. jalapeno peppers, finely chopped
2 c. vegetable broth
3/4 tsp. cumin
2 tbsp. fresh cilantro, minced

The onions and garlic are sauted together, then added with peppers and cilantro to the finished product. It sounds good, but then I found another recipe that I can adapt that is intriguing, and I'd finally get to use my 'fancy' saffron! I don't know how my tastebuds will take to ginger in rice, but I'm willing to find out.

500 g long grain rice
2 litres vegetable or chicken stock
1/2 teaspoon saffron powder
1 tablespoon peanut oil
1 small red chilli, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger

The recipe calls for the ingredients to be fried in part of the stock and the peanut oil in a wok, but I think I'll just toss it together, with olive oil. This will be fun.

Life in a Nutshell

2007-04-01T03:37:00.001-06:00

I love this; so simple. Life in a nutshell.

Everything changes, and nothing ever changes.

Cleaner air on the way?

2007-03-30T11:52:00.000-06:00

I don't pay much attention to the news, but this caught my eye and I want to pass it along. In the March/April 2007 issue of Government Purchasing Guide (GPG) is an article entitled Case Study: Senate of Canada.

The article opens with an interesting observation:

In December 2006, the Senate of Canada's fleet in Ottawa reportedly became the first in the country to receive a hydrogen-fuelled internal combustion engine fleet vehicle. Ford of Canada delivered the first of three shuttle buses to Parliament Hill, featuring internal combustion engines designed to produce nearly zero emissions. The vehicles are replacing existing gasoline-powered buses during a specified testing period.

...They comprise a new environmental pilot project that is scheduled to continue until March 31, 2008. The three buses have been put into everyday use, joining the existing shuttle bus fleet and transporting parliamentarians and staff between buildings in the Parliamentary Precinct. In essence, the Senate is providing the venue for testing this new technology as part of its ongoing environmental initiatives.

And people say the Senate is useless *pshaw*...

Still, exciting news for people concerned about global warming and governments that "do nothing" about global warming.

Icebergs and Bottomless Carpetbags

2007-03-30T10:19:00.000-06:00

Through a series of connections, today --from LOST theories to VCRs players to Happy Feet --I was drawn to reading the Wikipedia entry for the movie, Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins has always been one of my favourite characters in any film. She was pretty and could do magic --that, hands down, was enough for her to be special --but she also had a kind heart and shaped the world to be akin to her, and as I was someone who valued kindness above all else she won first place in my heart as a kid.

When I was a child I had a particular fear that manifested itself in many ways. Superficially it could appear to be a fear of heights, but I knew it more to be a fear of depths. I can loosely label it a fear of the vast unknown. For instance, the thought of icebergs frightened me --only 10% of them visible above the water and the rest a massive block hidden beneath the surface. The thought of whales who occupied and moved through that vast ocean similarly frightened me; and the thought of floating on such a surface --hanging above dark nothingness that was somethingness --would still disturb me today (Brad forbid I get tossed from a ship while at sea). Oddly enough, the vastness of space isn't nearly so frightening: in space, it's like you can see forever, everything open and revealed (or revealable). In the ocean depths, it's all hidden beneath a surface.

No doubt my subconscious mind telling me something.

But in reading the entry for Mary Poppins I remembered how frightened I was by that carpet bag of hers. It was bottomless. She could reach in and pull out an endless variety of enormous things that rationally could never have squeezed into the bag... and that meant there could literally be anything in there. It wasn't that it was magic or defied reality that frightened me, but the unimaginable vastness that must be the interior of that bag. I didn't want to ever look into that bag.

And now, in a way, I have. As corny as this may sound, in exploring new ideas recently I have glimpsed the vastness that is in that bag, and it's not so frightening anymore. I could face the vast ocean now with a firmer understanding and less fear. Now all I have to worry about is the sharks.

No Words, Our Words

2007-03-27T09:32:00.000-06:00

Copied from another forum:

I think a lot of our semantical problems stem from one thing. Let me see if I can explain.

What you call "the absolute" or the totality of things is unknowable; as agnostics, we can both agree on that. Where we disagree is that there are any words that describe the unknowable. All the words we have, all the words we can use to describe things, all the relationships that the words symbolize, and all the concepts they support --all of that is part of the knowable.

My stance is that we have no words for the unknowable. It is not really "absolute", it is not "ultimate", it is not "totality", it is not anything. So we borrow words from the world of the knowable and apply them to this thing that is nothing, hoping for some understanding. But they are words that belong here, to us, in the world where everything has context. "Truth" has context. "Relative" has context. "Absolute" has context. "Real" has context. Even "context" has context. Every word we can utilize in our feeble attempts to describe the unknowable is borrowed from the world of the knowable where it has an applicable and useful context.

The unknowable has no truth about it, it has no absoluteness about it, it has no relativeness about it, it has no reality and no unreality --these are things of the knowable, things that exist in context. All the words in our languages only approach the unknowable through metaphor, allegory and analogy.
(written by me)

Some things we have no words for; they amount to nothing more than a label, like "love," "the unity" and "the unknowable". These things we lump into the category of "spiritual," or sometimes "soulful" or "transcendent," then we go about finding tons of words and trying to apply them, because unless we can describe it someway, somehow, it's not real for us. It needs the weight of words to satisfy us in our human ways. Our words.

A Rightful Order Found

2007-03-27T01:17:00.001-06:00

Have you ever been frightened of being human? It was a phrase caught while flipping channels on the television. I've been frightened of humans, of what they might do; frightened of the circumstances that humans create; frightened of communicating ideas that, Brad forbid, might elicit a response from humans. I've been frightened of things about humans, things I have no control over, but never of being human. I tend more to enjoy that.

"Being" is a marvelous thing. I have "died" a few times in my life, in various figurative ways, and still, here I am. I used to joking say that I couldn't die, and now I'm wondering if there might be something to that --something along the line of the power of the mind to sustain the existence of the physical body. My father is a good example. He is hanging onto life dearly, despite all the things doctors have done to him over the years in the name of making him "better."

I'm turning 47 this year. While that's not near as terribly old as some people, it has pushed me into a new phase. It seems as if all the changes I've been experiencing lately in my life may be the change of life, per se, or at least peri-change --evidently the criteria to actually call yourself changed is quite strict: have to be period-free for a whole year, stand on your head and recite poetry bottom up.

There is a rightful order found
Beyond the things that seem to be,
Something beneath the surface seen
Hidden behind prevalent schemes.

I know this fact through feelings felt
in such relief that come to mind,
When in life I do my bit
And leave results to Spirit's will.

There is a rightful order found
In which Spirit our lives arrange,
Giving us what we rightly earn
With precision in circumstance,

Designed to rhyme and meet somehow
In a rightful order, time, and place.
(Oliver Mbamara)

It's not something I wanted to do alone, being human. Still don't, but there's not much choice. We can't be each other; it really doesn't work. Well, it does in one sense. I suppose, then, there is a context in which "being human" frightens me: the total isolation of the individualised person living in their concrete reality. That makes the "unity" of religious ideal quite appealing.

The Spiritual Perspective

2007-03-23T05:38:00.000-06:00

I am toying with the idea of portraying "spiritual" as a perspective. This may seem obvious to some, and may have been done before by others, but I'm not aware of them so please bear with me.

The subjective perspective is the view from a subject of things around it. It is associated with empirical observation, what we take in through our bodily senses, though it also includes a 'take' on things that go on in the mind.

The objective perspective is gained through reason. It is the view we create of a world of 'things' sans subject, considered by many a rationalist philosopher to be more true (nay, the only truth) than the the empirical one, though there is still contention about this.

I spoke about both perspectives before in The Subject/Object Divide.

Both perspectives are, apart from other things, ways of thinking about the world around us. What I am proposing as the 'spiritual perspective' came about because of a new way of thinking about the world around me, because of a "real"-ization of spirit (and, in part, reality itself) as 'the unknowable'. It encompasses the idea that what we can know of the world, either empirically or through reason, is necessarily limited (though the reasoning that brought me to that has since fallen through one of the many holes in my mind, and will be retrieved later, if required).

I image it as the subject mentioned above on a theshold or doorway (edited a wee bit):

Here's me.

Imagine a complete lack of things, a void. Into this picture we introduce a room. In this room are all 'things', the entire universe, with us (me) standing at the door, observing. We cannot see outside the room, because it's just void. We cannot see behind us, because if we could turn around there's just more void. We cannot even see ourselves from here at the door, but we can see into the room, and we can see all 'things' in it. (That is to say, if its capable of being observed, it's in the room.)

'Good' is in that room, as well as 'evil', and Images of God. 'Happiness' is there, and 'sad', and flights of fancy. My reflection is in there, and my shadow. Maths is there, and rivers and trees. My mom is there, and my cat --my cat as friend, my cat as "animal companion" (the new word for "pet"), my cat in all his contexts, they are all there. Contexts are in the room. And there, floating off to the side, there's Alpha Centari. All things I know, and all things I can know are in this room --even the ones I don't know yet.

"Behind" me and outside the room, is the void, that which cannot be known...

...I cannot turn around and view the unknowable, the void --if I could, it'd be in 'the room' --but I can reason it, and through knowing of my limitations, know the truth of it; and once I do it becomes real for me.

For me, and for some people, at least, God is the unknowable, an unknowable aspect of all 'things'.

The odd thing about this is that both subjective and objective perspective came about from a spiritual perspective apparent in the writings of philosophers as far back as Plato*, which has now apparently fallen to the wayside of popular thinking. The story of philosophic evolution, one I'm reading in brief now, is one of a movement from a spiritual perspective to the subject/object perspectives sans spirit. The subjective and objective perspectives alone are sufficient to describe the world of 'things' around us. The unknowable need not be a 'thing'. This has been the stance of many a person (both theist and atheist) on debate forums. This is the person who describes God as a unity of "all things" with no account for an unknowable aspect of Nature --a "super"-nature.

It's one thing to read about spirit and the supernatural, and another thing to know it for yourself. For years I have been supplying myself with ideas from books and speakers who talked about things that, I now realise, I had understood only superficially. I was in 'the room' with no concept of the threshold. I could talk about spiritual matters as if I knew what I was talking about, from a subjective perspective, but I didn't have the spiritual perspective backing that up, propping up the ideas and making them real. I think a lot of "religious" people today are in that position.

*Okay, well I haven't actually read them yet but read about them.

Patty's Law

2007-03-22T06:33:00.000-06:00

The more clutter you pile on a place is directly proportional to the amount of desire kitty has to sit in that particular spot.

Ultimate Weirdness

2007-03-20T15:57:00.000-06:00

Crap! I just found out that the PTB* released The Ultimate Matrix Collection, "complete with commentaries by philosophers Dr. Cornel West & Ken Wilber" and "critics Todd McCarthy, John Powers & David Thomson." I am both excited an annoyed: annoyed because I can't afford it until two weeks hence, and because I held out so long waiting for such a thing before caving and buying the movies as individual DVDs; and excited because this will be a Very Cool Thing.

That reminds me that I have yet to re-watch the third movie. I don't have high hopes of enjoying it as much as I did the first time, when I felt the "union" of man and machine to be an appropriate ending. Now, with all I've learned in the past year, it will probably make less sense.

It seems as if the more I learn, the less I know, and while philosophers and Yoda Masters might think that's a good thing, I'm not so sure. Perhaps I am heading for that nihilism that is the next chapter in my learning, and will promptly cease to exist. We'll see.

*Powers That Be

Lady in Red

2007-03-19T21:34:00.001-06:00

The most romantic song, ever.

Tired of Winter

2007-03-19T15:18:00.000-06:00

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) in the U.S. has recorded a record-warm winter this year, 2007.

Whether by human or natural means, predictions from online sources have world-wide temperatures rising between 1.1 and 6.4 degrees C in the coming century. That's warm enough to melt all the glaciers and the polar ice caps.

That means regardless of our present debates, our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will live in a very different world than the one we occupy.

But on the plus(?) side, with no ice caps there's nothing to stop the oil companies from opening up new fields, which may allow oil prices to lower (and provide us with more greenhouse gases). And one of the proposed solutions to global warming is to pump even more pollution into the ocean and air --fighting fire with fire (though I like the "faux trees" concept) .

It's kind of encouraging to hear that people all over are "fighting global warming" until you realise that that phrase means the opposite thing in some instances.

And here's me, needing to find someplace warmer to live.

Follow your nose...

2007-03-16T11:21:00.000-06:00

You follow you nose
It always knows
The flavour of food
Wherever it goes

I have undergone many personal changes in the last 6 months. Particularly close to my heart is the change in my nose, which has a direct effect on my stomach, and consequently everything else in the body. The nose knows.

There's a barbecue today at work. Hamburgers. I can't participate, not because of allowment but because of allotment: I dislike beef, now, a lot. I am in the process of redefining a new spectrum of tastes --like a child starting out with a spoon of pureed gunk. I can just feel my eyes light up every time I taste something delightful that previously would have been mundane, or worse, ignored.

Most recently coffee has been added to the "good" list. I'm going to visit a coffee shop this weekend and try some different blends (unsweetened, of course). It's an odd thing for me, as I used to be relatively cautious; now I'm willing to try anything once, and I'm going to pursue new tastes as long as this spectrum shift persists. Enjoy it while you can, I say.

Sounds like a sure recipe for allergies. ;-)

Colonel Tigh

2007-03-11T10:19:00.000-06:00

My cat's name is Colonel Tigh. He was named, by Olav Rokne, after the Battlestar Galactica character, sometime between when Olav met the cat and when it was delivered to my door, no doubt on a spur of the moment. That's one thing I admire most about Olav: spurs count, they carry weight, and so the name stays.

Regardless of what reasons Olav may have had for naming the him, my cat is more of an old-fashioned 'Terry Carter' Tigh than a 'Michael Hogan' Tigh, though he's a bit of both. Both are very loyal to their commander, and thrust into uncomfortable situations, which is what most characterizes the role they each play. Both seem older than they appear, battle-worn and tired, yet able to pick up the burden of command and carry on. Yet the two actors portray the character in very different ways: Carter's is more of a grandfatherly, wise Tigh and Hogan's a gritty, grumpy, fallable one. His world is unfair, and he rails against it.

My cat's old before his time. At the same time, his whole world is play; he doesn't know anything else. He came to me at 7 months of age, an adult still thinking as a child. Play keeps him occupied when he's not sleeping, prowling or being petted. I sometimes think it not fair that he can't go outside --I've decided, for various reasons, that he'll be strictly an indoor cat --and maybe that contributes to my perception of him as old before his time. My other cats got sick towards the end of their lives and deliberately stayed indoors. Still, he sees others cats out there and his voice turns to a small whine. Then he comes and gets petted, and everything's alright again.

The ABC's of Life

2007-03-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

A blast from the past. This is a blurb I wrote November 8, 2001 and posted at 3:57 p.m. on an Internet forum.

I went for a walk today at lunch, as I usually do, and my thoughts travelled as much as my feet do. Today they led me down some unusual philosophical trails that I'd like to share with you (though no doubt they have been touched upon by better philosophers than I).

An awareness of death is an important part of being happy. This is the conclusion my thoughts led me to. Here is how it goes:

Most people (those I know here, anyway) go through life without considering death, especially their own. We celebrate birth but not death. It is not a topic talked about around the coffee table, it is not appreciated or anticipated in anyway. When a friend or co-worker passes away there is sorrow and a certain need to keep hush about it.

My thoughts began with the here and now, and with the unhappiness some friends of my were expressing lately. I would hear things like, "Life sucks!" or "Love sucks!" spoken with much pain and anger, followed by "Why can't I get what I want?" Unfulfilled desire is pain (I think Dr. Bob it was who mentioned that to me). If the desire can be stilled, the pain goes away. What can still that desire? Awareness...

What is this "life" thing that it sucks so much? What is the purpose of a life that sucks? You are born, you come into awareness, you live each day, you lose awareness, you die. Movement from point A to point B, that is the simplest model for the thing that we call "life." If you believe, as most people do, in "something" before birth and "something" after death, then you must also believe that the span between birth and death has some sort of purpose.

We exist between birth and death on a point C known as "here and now." This is a lovely concept, a point of awareness that is with us always. It is never the same from one moment to the next, or from one individual to the next. It is conscious awareness; it is us, here and now. Yet most people take it for granted. Because they don't think about it ending.

If you think of yourself as a single point along a limited timespan that could end at any moment, how is it possible not to appreciate the here and now? Life, whatever purpose you assign it, is a miracle in and of itself: breath, movement, touch, thought. If you become aware that it will someday end, then you appreciate what you have all the more. If you live each day as if the end is near, you cannot fail to be pleased simply to exist.

At least, I couldn't.

And all else pales by comparison. I hold onto this simple model for happiness: an awareness of my own mortality. It puts things in perspective for me. The desires I feel bother me until I remember that I may not be here tomorrow to experience them. I take pride in what I do here and now, regardless of what happened in the past or what the future may hold. And this is happiness.

This isn't meant as a lecture or a lesson. Just some thoughts that I had while walking at lunch hour sipping my slurpee.

Self-Help

2007-03-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

Lately I have regained something that a decade ago I thought I had lost forever: I have regained a spiritual outlook on the world, and by that I mean a particular mindset that is heartening and life affirming, as well as a very nice place to be. I knew when I had lost it, and I didn't know how or why I'd had it, so I didn't have any hope to reattain it. At best, I thought, it would find me, but, like some of the self-help books I'd read in the Autumn propose, it was really as simple as getting more information (which in their case means "buy more self-help books," but in this case simply means being exposed to logical philosophical ideas).

To me, at least, it means having a definition of spirit or 'myself', and a concept of life that makes for a particular world view.

Surprisingly, to me, I am a lot less depressed since I rediscovered a spiritual outlook on the world. In my opinion, spirituality goes a long way towards solving a lot of the problems that depression stems from.

For instance, take the thoughts that creep in that say we are unloved. Spirituality provides a route to understanding love (no, really). When you understand how it is someone loves you, then you understand that they do love you.

Take another example. I'd been depressed because of the death of my pets. Spirituality provides a route to understanding life and death (no, really). When you understand how someone is alive, then you can resolve how it is they are taken from you.

Let's try one more: a place in society, or depressed about my job. Spirituality provides a route to understanding self-image (no, really) and when you have that you can fill any role that society might throw at you.

It's a very nice place to be.

The Most Entertaining Blog on Earth

2007-03-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

No, it's not the Trundling Grunt's, though his comes very close. And it's not my modest effort, which makes little pretense at entertainment. It's not even Planet Earth Under Threat, which popped up tops in a googling of 'Most Entertaining' coupled with 'Blog on Earth'.

No, sir. It's Scott Adams' blog. You may be familiar with Scott Adams as the author of the Dilbert comic, and a link to his blog is available there. Or you can just glom it from my links on the side; but in any case I highly recommend it as a good read, a good smirk, and a daily remedy from the boredom of work.

(Actually, I just wanted to appear in his left front pocket.)

The Spice(s) of Life

2007-02-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

I went through my spice rack intending to sort my spices by aroma. I got the idea from a cookbook I got at Christmas time called Fearless in the Kitchen. According to the author, spices can be categorized as robust and delicate. With my altered senses of smell and taste of late, I instead ended up sorting them by yummy and gag me.

Among the spices I can no longer enjoy (this week, at least) are: sage, savory, poultry seasoning (of course), fines herbes, ginger, oregano and thyme. Among the ones that are yummy are: dill, garlic powder, cumin, tumeric curcuma, ainse seed, saffron, Chinese 5-spice, cloves and cinnemon. The rest are pretty much weak or neutral odoured.

Needless to say I will seek out recipes that utilize the yummy ones.

I'm cooking my brown rice today with dill and cumin, will see how that tastes. I tried dill and tumeric and dill and garlic powder already, with success. Next week, dill and saffron.

Cynical Thought of the Day

2007-02-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

Solar energy will be plentiful as soon as the Corporate rulers figure out how to keep a meter between the sun and your house, no sooner than that.

(from Scott Adam's blog)

Thoughts on Divination

2007-02-24T12:54:00.001-07:00

Lately I have come to a better understanding of spirituality and the philosophical issues posed by duality and unity --duality of ego that creates the world around it, and unity or "oneness" with God (both the symbol and the possibility of something more). This will be immensely helpful to me in my exploration of divination, because I have just this week cemented a goal of making divination accessible, palatable and understandable to secular thinkers and putting it on a website (my aborted attempt earlier doesn't count).

In learning about spirituality I have come across a bit of an orthodox hard-line that stresses that ego must go, unity must be strived for, ego is suffering, unity is heaven, etc. --I'm not sure yet if this hard-line has a place in divination. I suspect it doesn't; I suspect further study will show me that attempts to squeeze divination into this orthodox view of spirituality will prove damaging to it. Although the spiritual outlook will be useful in developing an explanation of divination, the purpose of divination is to bring the mystery of the numinous "beyond" or "below" within the grasp of our perception (the "above"). Divination works for the ego, within the world of symbols.

Divination today is largely seen as "fortune-telling" or foreseeing "what will happen," but in ancient times it was a religious device that served to allow people to listen to the gods as they "speak", and later became a means to consult them and get their advice on matters of importance to them (people). People asked gods what should be done about a future they had determined for themselves, not what would be done in a future they had no control over: "This is what I will; do the gods favour it?" The god would then give some acknowledgement of a "yes/no" type through omen, give it the nod, so to speak, and this 'nod' could change from moment to moment as the intentions of man changed, in other words as he wrote his own course. Randomness was thus an integral part of divinatory method.